It seems that only a few, if not experienced, have certainly heard of situations where one of the couple is that frugal and the other is spending on grief. So drastic spending habits often lead to disputes, talks with a relationship consultant, or even divorce. Experience has shown that it is extremely rare for couples to have the same spending habits. As long as other areas of relationships like communication and trust are in order, there is no reason not to solve your financial problems. It must also be understood that no relationship will ever be perfect, that is to say, there will always be something that does not satisfy one another or the other. The following are tips for those who are money savers by nature but are now married to a money saver.
Take care of your finances together
Do not expect a positive response when starting an open and offensive monologue about what the other is flawed and what the other is doing wrong. Instead, focus on yourself and talk about how you feel about your financial situation. For example, say, “Dear, I am so worried about our bills that I can no longer sleep normally at night” or “I am frightened by our many debts”. A loving partner will try to help you feel better, or at least express sympathy if it feels the same.
Ask for help
To get partners who are not interested in family finance, just ask for help. Give it a small and easy-to-do task: “Can you please call the bank and inquire about the possibility of getting a lower interest rate on our credit card?” And still remember to do all the conversations not through the “you” prism, but through the “I” prism – don’t say “you do nothing”, say “I have so much work to do – will you help me?”. One can also highlight the other’s good qualities by saying, for example, “You are more capable of financial matters than I am, so could you please find the best insurance offer for our car?”.
If your partner likes to spend money, it can take a long time for something to change. Do not set yourself the goal of eradicating these money-spending habits from one another, but draw specific boundaries. Effective tools can be, for example, a low credit card, fixed pocket money, or an envelope with cash. Frankly, as long as you don’t have a problem with your overall expenses and family needs, your partner can continue to spend as before.
Praise good behavior
If your partner is trying to change, try to give them praise and positive encouragement as often as possible. There may be situations where they will “slip their leg” and things will not go as smoothly as they are known to change, so praise any positive change, however small or large it may be.
Learn to spend
You may find this advice contradictory, but the truth is that no one wants to be the only one trying to change to please someone. Of course, this does not mean that you have to go to the store now and buy, for example, a new TV – it is about periodic shopping when you afford to spend a little more than usual. For example, buy a more expensive chocolate bar and bring it to your loved one. Also, go to a coffee shop or even a restaurant more often. Yes, it will cost you extra money in the short term, but in the long run, the money savings from a partner who is trying to change for you and curb their willingness to spend will be incomparably greater.